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Thread: Guitar Quiz

  1. #1
    Registered User Black_the_Sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Chicago Burbs

    Guitar Quiz

    Found this on the web at: http://www.merde.org/guitar/gtrquiz.txt

    Funny quiz but had to only include half of the questions due to size. Follow the link for the whole thing and the scoring.

    Give yourself a point for every question that you can reasonably
    answer yes to. Technicalities count. For already confirmed rabid
    guitarists who are no longer able to count higher than 20, tally your
    "no" votes.


    1. Have you played a guitar
    2. Well
    3. Every day
    4. For more than an hour at a time
    5. For more than 2 hours
    6. For more than 6 hours
    7. From sunset to sunrise
    8. Outside
    9. In a tree
    10. In bed
    11. At meals
    12. While reading
    13. In the bathroom
    14. In the bathtub
    15. On the toilet
    16. In a stairwell
    17. In an elevator
    18. In a swimming pool
    19. In a moving car
    20. While driving
    21. In a truck (passenger compartment OR back)
    22. On a train
    23. In a boat
    24. In an aircraft(plane, dirigible, blimp, hot air balloon, hang glider)
    25. Had an accident as a result of playing guitar in a moving vehicle
    26. Was it fatal
    27. In jail
    28. With other musicians
    29. Upside-down
    30. Lying down
    31. Under the influence of alcohol
    32. Under the influence of drugs
    33. Well
    34. While NOT under the influence of alcohol or drugs
    36. During a natural disaster
    37. Watching television
    38. Talking on the phone
    39. In a public place
    40. Until your fingers bled
    41. After your fingers had started bleeding
    42. Until they scabbed over
    43. Until they fell off
    44. Until you wished they would
    45. Have you played a song to someone over the phone
    46. Into an answering machine
    47. Have you played a 12-string guitar
    48. Have you spent more than two hours in a guitar shop
    49. More than 4
    50. From opening to closing
    51. Without actually playing a guitar
    52. Have you ever played all the guitars in a shop
    53. In one day
    54. More than half of the above at once

    55. Do you own a guitar
    56. More than 1
    57. More than 2
    58. More than 5
    59. More than 10
    60. Have you owned a guitar
    61. More than 1
    62. More than 2
    63. More than 5
    64. More than 10
    65. Have you owned a guitar that was more than 10 years old
    66. More than 20 years old
    67. Older than you were
    68. Have you ever broken a guitar
    69. More than 1
    70. On purpose
    71. Have you ever fixed a guitar
    72. Did it still work
    73. Have you ever built a guitar
    74. Did it work
    75. Have you ever modified a guitar
    76. Did it work
    77. Did it work the way you expected it to
    78. Have you ever taken a guitar apart
    79. Not because you had to
    80. Did you put it back together
    81. Did it work
    82. Better
    83. Have you ever named a guitar
    84. All your guitars
    85. Have you ever risked your life to rescue a guitar
    86. Someone else's life
    87. Have you ever assaulted anyone with a guitar
    88. Have you paid more than $100 for a guitar
    89. More than $200
    90. More than $500
    91. More than $1000
    92. More than half the money you had
    93. All the money you had
    94. Have you ever paid less than $50 for a guitar
    95. Less than $25
    96. Have you been given a guitar
    97. Have you bought a guitar on impulse
    98. Have you borrowed money to buy a guitar
    99. Have you sold any of your possessions to get money to buy a guitar
    100. Have you sold yourself to get money to buy a guitar (this
    includes getting a job just so that you could buy a guitar)
    101. Have you sold a guitar to get money to buy a guitar
    102. Have you stolen money to buy a guitar
    103. Have you stolen a guitar
    104. Have you sold a guitar
    105. More than one
    106. Have you ever given a guitar away
    107. Have you ever traded guitars with someone
    108. Have you ever bought a part/accessory for your guitar that cost more
    than the guitar
    109. Do you keep spare picks
    110. More than 50
    111. While cleaning house, have you ever found more than 20 picks
    112. Are you too busy playing guitar to have ever cleaned house
    113. Have you ever used a pick for other than its intended purpose
    114. Have you ever used something not intended to be used as a pick as a
    pick? (fingernails don't count; credit cards, watch faces, playing
    cards, folded paper, coins, rocks, broken glass, etc. count)
    115. If you drop your pick while playing, can you find your spare without
    missing more than two beats
    116. Do you keep spare strings
    117. Have you ever repaired a string
    118. Have you ever made an improvised string out of something else?
    (catgut, high-tension cable, bell wire, fishing line, braided
    human hair, etc.)
    119. Do you keep spare parts
    120. Spare guitars
    121. Do you have more guitars than cases
    122. Are you unsure of how many guitars you have
    123. Have you ever kept a guitar for parts
    124. Have you ever broken a guitar while playing
    125. Have you ever broken a string while playing
    126. More than one (at a time)
    127. All of them (at once)
    128. More than once in a session
    129. Have you ever played with a broken string
    130. Have you ever replaced a string in less than one minute
    131. Less than 40 seconds
    132. Less than 20 seconds
    133. Do you know the names of the strings
    134. Do you know the gauges of the strings you use
    135. Do you have to ask for strings by gauge because you don't know
    which string it is
    136. Have you used a guitar string for other than its intended purpose
    137. Have you pierced any part of your body with a guitar string
    138. On purpose
    139. Have you tuned a guitar by ear
    140. Did you get it right
    141. Have you used a guitar for other than its intended purpose
    142. Have you heard of an E-Bow
    143. Have you seen an E-Bow
    144. Have you used an E-Bow
    145. Have you used an E-Bow for other than its intended purpose
    146. Have you heard of a Gizmotron
    147. Have you seen a Gizmotron
    148. Have you used a Gizmotron
    149. Have you used a Gizmotron for other than its intended purpose
    150. Can you play the theme to Jaws with a Gizmotron
    151. Without making a fool of yourself
    152. Do you ever use a capo
    153. For other than its intended purpose
    154. As a percussion instrument
    155. Can you play slide
    156. Do you use a REAL slide (longneck cut from a beer bottle)
    157. Have you ever improvised a slide out of materials at hand (comb,
    pen, harmonica, whole beer bottle, knife, gun, bystander)
    158. Do you retune to play slide
    159. Have you ever used a slide for other than its intended purpose
    (weapon, whistle, straw, marital aid)
    160. Do any of your guitars have a whammy bar
    161. Does it matter
    162. Do you ever bend notes by pulling back on the headstock, if you
    don't have a whammy bar
    163. Have you ever broken a string using either of the above techniques
    164. All of them
    165. Have you ever broken a guitar using either of the above techniques
    166. All of them
    167. Can you finger-pick on a 12-string
    168. Well
    169. Can you play guitar with your tongue
    170. Can you fret chords with your tongue
    171. Do you have an amplifier
    172. Does it go up to 11
    173. Have you ever blown an amplifier or speaker cabinet
    174. In front of an audience
    175. Do you own an effects box
    176. More than 1
    177. More than 6
    178. More than you can figure out a way to use
    179. Have you ever built an effects box
    180. Did it work
    181. The way you expected it to
    182. Did it explode
    183. Did you expect it to explode


    184. Can you play music on a guitar?

    185. Can you play music that anyone else can stand to listen to on a guitar?

    186. Can you read guitar music?

    187. Can you read guitar tabulature?

    188. Can you read at all?

    189. Have you written music for a guitar?

    190. Have you written music anyone else could stand to listen to?

    191. Have you written guitar music that you couldn't play?

    192. Have you written guitar music that Steve Vai couldn't play?

    193. Have you written guitar music that was recorded professionally
    by someone else?

    194. Have you listened to music that didn't have guitars in it?

    195. Was it unfulfilling?

    196. Have you listened to music you didn't like because it had guitars
    in it?

    197. Have you listened to an LP at 16 2/3 RPM in an attempt to learn
    a riff?

    198. Have you heard of all of the following?
    Steve Vai
    Steve Morse
    Steve Jones
    Steve Stevens
    Steve Clark
    Steve Lukather
    Steve Howe
    Steven Stills
    Steven Banks
    Stevie Ray Vaughn

    199. Is your name Steve?

    200. Was your name always Steve?
    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Hidden Content

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2005


    who in there right mind would take this quiz? they must be nuts for acctually typing that all out..hell

  3. #3
    Registered User Jamie FT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Leeds, England
    Jebus that's a big quiz! :amaze:

  4. #4
    Guitar Freak plaindrome's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Lol... nice guitar quiz =0)

  5. #5
    JimmyPageThe2nd(learning) Addy Pant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005

    Ha Ha Haaaaaa!!!

    Thatwas totally HILARIOUS!! Please post more things like that in the future.

  6. #6
    Registered User tucker97325's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Man, I started answering these things before I knew it was a joke. I had to stop around 130 because I got got tired of saying "yes"!
    "It ain't what you play man! Its how you play it."
    Hidden Content

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Some of these are actually starting to scare me...

    84. All your guitars?

    My guitar is *special* - and I have names for all its split personalities

    136. Have you ever used a guitar string for other than its intended purpose?

    It kept my hair in a mediocre ponytail once, not much to look at but it made playing a lot easier, not having to shake my head every two seconds to get hair out of my face...

    And then there was...well, I shouldn't say too much on such a 'high-class' forum...nice girl, black lace, got snagged, bit of a rush, school night, I think that sums it up

    170. Can you fret chords with your tongue?

    Easier in an open tuning, I must say... but I can still rock pretty hard in standard

    206. Would you sell your soul to be able to play guitar like Jimi "Steve" Hendrix?

    Tried, but with Petrucci instead...didn't work

    207. Someone else's soul?

    That didn't work either

    250. Have you ever had sex while playing guitar?

    ...I actually regret having to say 'yes' to this one

    I'm putting this list away now.

    Rock On,
    The Jeffinator

  8. #8
    Since 1988 Carvinite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    HAHAHHAHAHA, thats freaggin greatman, I love it!

  9. #9
    Modbod UKRuss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Funky Munky World
    199. Is your name Steve?

    Oh yes, well it's Russ of course but Russ Stevens and Steve is a common nickname for someone with the surname Stevens. So that would actually make me Steve Stevens, which is scary. I hasten to add that I am not actually Steve Stevens and he is no relation of mine, but In would sell my soul to play as he does.

    Sadly my kids all have rock/guitar related names too.

    My eldest son is Zak (Wylde) Stevens
    My little girl is Liv (Tyler) Stevens
    and my baby son is Jake E Stevens, which is self explanatory.

    (He also has another middle name based on his other Grandad's name, but to illustrate a point...)

    Now surely one of them has to end up being a famous guitarist eh?

    Whats that they say about living through your kids...Oh God I've ruined them already!

    OH GOD!

    Regards, Russ Steve Stevens Stevens.

  10. #10
    Since 1988 Carvinite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Did you really name your kids that If so, thats awesome your wife let you!

  11. #11
    Mad Scientist forgottenking2's Avatar
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    Jul 2003
    Houston, TX
    OMG so I AM normal after all!!!
    "If God had wanted us to play the piano he would've given us 88 fingers"

  12. #12
    Modbod UKRuss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Funky Munky World
    I certainly did.

    It was kind of by accident rather than me be being a guitar freak! We just liked the name Zak, then when my daughter was born we had recently seen One Night at McCool's and we had both said we loved the name Liv.

    I wanted this one to be called Jake for a long time and I kinda knew we would use my Dad's name Eric as one of his middle names (family tradition type thingy) so I saw the Jake E Lee connection but it is really just co-incidence.

    I'm not mad, really really I'm not.

  13. #13
    Since 1988 Carvinite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    cool, thats neat

  14. #14
    Modally Challenged!!!! mattblack850's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    At the bottom of another Bottle of Brown Ale.
    Quote Originally Posted by UKRuss
    I'm not mad, really really I'm not.
    Unfortunately we've only got YOUR WORD for that!!!!!!

  15. #15
    Modbod UKRuss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Funky Munky World

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