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Thread: Leaving My Band With Best Mates For Another..

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gloucestershire, UK

    Leaving My Band With Best Mates For Another..

    Basically i'm in this band called Broken By Daybreak..
    And we're doing really well, played quite a few gigs, and loads coming up for new year.
    But lately things haven't been going too well.

    The drummer controls this band, i've spoke to the others about this before and they weren't too sure about it.
    But he calls all the shots all the time, and its pissing me off.
    Our bassist already 'left' because he was tired of him, but then he came back after his farewell gig, because he loved it too much.
    The thing is, you'll say why don't you just kick him?
    Because he's my best mate, and he loves it as much as we all do.
    He also wants this band to go heavier, which i really don't want to do.

    Just to make things a bit more complicated my friends band Sonic Is A Superhero just split, and 2 of the members are making a new one, kinda like You Me At Six Punk-Rock, Alterative Rock stuff.
    They need a guitarist and i've been thinking lately about leaving my band and joining that one with 2 great guys who have experience of getting somewhere.

    I just don't know what to do, leave my best mates and do something i want to do.

    Or stick with it..?

    Comments? Help me out here?

    Thanks a lot.

    Liamm x

  2. #2
    Since 1988 Carvinite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Do something you want to do. Tell your best mates that the music that you want to play is with those guys. Things will change, but I bet you'll be happier.

  3. #3
    Modally Challenged!!!! mattblack850's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    At the bottom of another Bottle of Brown Ale.
    You've got to do what's best for you 'musically'!
    Sounds to me like you move to this other Band. If your Best mate really is your 'Best' mate then they'll understand. Just make sure you explain it all properly so there's no bad feelings.

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    while you can decrease the "bad feelings" by being as tactful, truthful, and considerate as possible,

    the simple fact is that there will likely still be "bad feelings" because they need you to reach their goal and if you quit then it will take them that much longer to reach their goal,
    or as happpens many times the band may just dissolve when someone significant leaves the band.

    its like any relationship and a band is multiple relationships,

    it takes a minimum of 2 people both making effort in a couple relationship,

    the more people in a band the more chance of drama

    and just like a relationship when you tell them your leaving, anything can happen for instance the band may
    ie. begging you to stay
    ie. so mad they throw your stuff out, etc

    life is about choices do what's in your best interests, but whenever dealing with people(especially in the same town) try to be tactful, strategic, and if you can don't "burn any bridges" that you may need in the future !!

    good luck !
    "Success is arriving at a Personal Satisfaction within yourself"

    Dedicated To Guitar!!!

  5. #5
    The Silent Still Draven Grey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Denver, CO USA
    Get with a team where you're "the right team" to help each other acheive your goals! It's not worth the headache and frustration that comes from being with the wrong team.

    However, if you're all willing to stick it out and do whatever you can to become that "right team", I highly suggest looking into a written band agreement. It will outline who has what responsibilities, as well as how the band handles disagreements. It can be a life (and hair) saver. Richard Stim's book, Music Law, has some pretty good customizable agreements. But you might be able to find something you like on the net.
    ~draven grey
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