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Thread: Never feeling good enough

  1. #16
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    Thanks guys, it's good to know im not the only one who sometimes feels this way! I know i'm improving - i can hear it in my recordings and sometimes i do feel pleased with it, but this feeling quickly wears off and i go back to the 'knowing nothing' feeling.
    I think playing with others is a good point because i never have, and i also do often feel as though there's something missing somehow so i guess that always playing alone could be part of it. This also means that the only feedback i get is from myself which has both good and bad points. On the one hand i can be quite hard on myself when someone else might think its perfectly ok and offer a different perspective, but on the other hand i also think that there are plenty of people out there who are only too happy too dismiss and belittle the efforts of others so i'm kinda worried about that aspect as well...... but of course, i could just simply suck!!
    Last edited by Timestorm; 01-29-2009 at 07:31 PM.

  2. #17
    Bedroom metalurgist LaughingSkull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timestorm
    ... but of course, i could just simply suck!!
    On the other hand, you could be also bloody brilliant.
    It is as if I was listening to myself, but from a far away. When you have bad day, the only question is ... did you enjoy playing? Yes? Good.

  3. #18
    confidence.... confidence.... confidence

  4. #19
    Registered User zildjidan's Avatar
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    You should check out the book effortless mastery.. it talks a lot about emotion and the ego, and how you feel about your playing and what that does to your playing.


    http://www.amazon.com/Effortless-Mas.../dp/156224003X
    Hidden Content
    1/2 lined paper - 1/2 staff paper


  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by zildjidan View Post
    You should check out the book effortless mastery.. it talks a lot about emotion and the ego, and how you feel about your playing and what that does to your playing.


    http://www.amazon.com/Effortless-Mas.../dp/156224003X
    It includes a CD of "meditations"? Really?

    Ian.

  6. #21
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    I find state of mind is incredibly important for making good music.

    being in the right state of mind won't make you the greatest muscian.

    but let's say you're at some given "level" or whatever. your music will be better or worse given your state of mind. unless of course you're playing is based totally on logic and math and theory and robotically practised timing.

    if i'm in a bad mood i won't pickup an instrument unless it's got good bad mood sounds to it. meditations and stuff like that is not my thing really. but i could see how some might find it useful. it will tend to make your music often have the same feel sometimes though.

    like i've written some really sad songs when in a sad mood, and really chill songs when in a really chill mood.

    mood matters to me alot. it is how i choose to play the sounds theory has named for me.

    or actually in my case, it has been the reason i found many sounds i have subsequently found the name for.

    i think everybody has days where they feel they suck. i know i certainly do. sometimes i feel like i suck royally and my music is lame and bland, and then other days, i feel like i'm unstoppable crazy musician. and the truth is i'm always somewhere in between. i actually even wrote a song about this once.

  7. #22
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    I can really identify with you guys' feelings of inadequecy. I was once a really uptight, huge perfectionist in all areas, including playing music. I dreaded mistakes and equated making (and admitting) error with being
    a bad person. I would come off as stuffy and arrogant when I was really afraid, insecure, and very unhappy. I was trying to live up to perfection, and failing miserably- no wonder I was in a funk. Over time I've learned to let go. I've come to accept the fact that I'm not perfect, not as a person, a musician or anything else, and I don't have to be. All I can do is what I can and appreciate the fruits of my efforts. I learned that I am more productive and happy when I don't compare myself to what I could be or what others are. I try to remind myself that there's never going to be an end to what can be learned and mastered, so what's the rush. Learning is a lifelong thing, and I'm always going to be under construction.

  8. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by fingerpikingood View Post
    I find state of mind is incredibly important for making good music.
    being in the right state of mind won't make you the greatest muscian.
    but let's say you're at some given "level" or whatever. your music will be better or worse given your state of mind. unless of course you're playing is based totally on logic and math and theory and robotically practised timing.
    ...etc, .....
    Quote Originally Posted by Chordy_Ordy25 View Post
    I can really identify with you guys' feelings of inadequecy. I was once a really uptight, huge perfectionist in all areas, including playing music. I dreaded mistakes and equated making (and admitting) error with being
    a bad person. I would come off as stuffy and arrogant when I was really afraid, insecure, and very unhappy. I was trying to live up to perfection, and failing miserably- no wonder I was in a funk. Over time I've learned to let go....

    .... etc....
    Question to both of you - do you ever get angry, annoyed or irritably frustrated with your mistakes or failings when either practicing or trying to master what might seem "difficult" pieces?

    Ian.

  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crossroads View Post
    Question to both of you - do you ever get angry, annoyed or irritably frustrated with your mistakes or failings when either practicing or trying to master what might seem "difficult" pieces?

    Ian.
    Not usually, unless I'm having a bad day or something. I used to get really really frustrated with myself, though. But now I find mistakes are what keep me moving foward. I find that if I'm able to laugh at my mistakes and not take things so seriously, learning is facilitated, and before I know it, I can successfully do whatever it was I was trying to learn.

  10. #25
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    Also taking the time to realize and appreciate whatever progress I have made so far (no matter how small, lol) helps me put feelings of inadequacy/frustration at bay. Success, I find, is about learning to take things in stride and be able to feel comfortable in your own skin.

  11. #26
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    no. but anyways practicing and performing is different.

    my focus is always on improving on finding ways to improve and on fixing my mistakes. my mistakes are only subjects of things to work on. never cause frustration. they cause boredom sometimes. but i love to find them, because mistakes are clues on how i can improve and become better. they are sweet things to find, and when i find one i take pleasure in solving them. but that might mean stopping what i'm trying to do and take a smaller bite, slow it down maybe, do drills if my issue is dexterity, drills that will solve that issue. i never get angry or frustrated with music. bored maybe, unentheused maybe, i might get bewildered at the quantity of work ahead, or something like that. but never angry or frustrated. never.
    Last edited by fingerpikingood; 03-11-2010 at 11:25 PM.

  12. #27
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    The joy is in the journey, not the destination.

    Even Michael Brecker, one of the greatest horn players ever, has expressed similar feelings. He mentions, of his own compositions, that they never really feel 'finished' and would constantly be revising things and improving or changing them.

    If something isn't sounding the way you want. Work on it.
    If there is something you don't understand, in regards to harmony. Work on it. ect..
    That's all anyone can do.

  13. #28
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    Yeah I agree, the joy is the journey.

  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crossroads View Post
    Question to both of you - do you ever get angry, annoyed or irritably frustrated with your mistakes or failings when either practicing or trying to master what might seem "difficult" pieces?

    Ian.
    I do ,But maybe not as much. I am in the process of learning how to practice. I am not so positive as to find joy in my mistakes ,i just want to get past them and move on.This may be part of my problem. I need to learn how to stay calm. I have a bad habit of tightening my grip and even to some extent cant even play for more than 5 min without feeling fatigue.Then the next day no Fatigue at all. so i am inconsistent and not at all happy about it. I wont be untill the good days out number the bad at the moment its 50 50 so no where near consistent enough. I dont get down about it really though i am amazed that i seem to be getting more enthusiastic. I am progressing though. I keep telling myself

  15. #30
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    I've got to say though too, i've never mastered a single difficult piece. i've copied licks and portions of some, but i've never copied a complete piece, or.. not never, but not since i was younger.

    although i am doing that right now on piano coincidentally, as i am trying to learn to sightread standard notation, and if not, just learning some cool oscar peterson riffs, so i am having some difficulty learning that, but the piece isn't complete yet. i'm still having trouble with it, but, it will come. i think the pleasure of getting the parts right i'm trying to get right overshadows the getting some parts wrong, as far as emotions are concerned for me. but ya, i can't ever remember getting upset or frustrated for music. nobody begins good at anything. better than others sure, faster at learning, absolutely, some stuff is easier for some than for others, yes that's true. be all start off not knowing anything. getting stuck and encountering stuff you can't do is natural, and innevitable, and necessary for becoming very good at something that isn't easy.

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