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View Full Version : Tell me what you think (constructive criticism)



MetalMessiah
04-16-2003, 09:58 AM
Thanks, here: http://www.metalmessiah.com/sound/viani/the sage.mp3

seven_strings
04-16-2003, 02:08 PM
I think you have a cool whammy tech. but you need to work a bit on your right hand, just a little on the vibrato , and a little on the bends. but over all it sounded pretty cool man :);)

szulc
04-16-2003, 03:36 PM
Nice wang bar scoops. Rhythm chops are stumbling a bit.
A couple of cool licks sounds like RH taps. A nice sweep in one spot. The lead needs more direction in general. Except for a few points of interest it is not moving along as it should. Maybe try singing a lead line to it then trying to play it would help the less interesting spots.

MetalMessiah
04-16-2003, 05:57 PM
I think you have said that to me before, about the singing. I tried that and I am getting better at it. It is a great thing to do because I does help with the melodic direction of my solos. I guess its like everything else: Practice, practice, practice! :p

Wyll_Watts
04-16-2003, 09:10 PM
I pretty much agree with Szulc here.. the rhythm needs to be a little more tight, and have more of a groove that drives the piece along... some spots are not that interesting, but when you are playing the good stuff, you are really playing it man.. I heard a few things that reminded me of some early George Lynch stuff.. overall, pretty cool, just needs to be fleshed out in certain parts and have a little more theme and direction.. sounds like you're deffinately heading in the right direction.. good work..

Wyll

Michel
04-16-2003, 10:18 PM
Bonjour
OK From 0.00 to 0.43 you need a stronger melodic line
from 1.25 to the end you need THAT melodic line again
BUT from 0.43 to1.25 WOW i love the solo

B'Bye.......Michel

szulc
04-17-2003, 03:15 AM
This tune seems to be i iv i V. Ok with that info you could construct a solo based on arpeggios i iv i V or you could do some minor subtitutions and play III VI III viio, several things like that might work here. I would suggest replacing the V with V7b9 and burning some dim7 arpeggios over it, since the harmonic minor scale contains all of the notes of the Dim7 and V7b9 with no root is Dim7 (iio7 or viio7 or ivo7 or vio7). Maybe just make up a simple melody with some pedal tones over the i iv i V part. Or just make up a melody or two and use it to base your licks on.

You really only have i to iv, iv to i, i to V and V to i to blow over here. Give some thought to the resolution of chord tones involved in each of these cadences, maybe map out some target notes based on this.

You could play dorian, aeolian or phrygian over the i and iv chords you could play Phrygian dominant over the V chord unless you want it to be minor in which case aeolian dorian and phrygian will work. In addition, minor pentatonics over each of these will work (if you choose v as minor) otherwise only use them over the i and iv chords. You could play the hybid (Harmonic minor with m7 and M7). Cool bebop like lines can be made from it, since it has 8 notes. Since the last part is V, i and then iv you can play some cool cycle ideas over this part.

The lick at 19 and 23 sound like something from the George Lynch instructional video.

MetalMessiah
04-17-2003, 06:32 AM
I am glad that you guys are seeing some george lynch in my playing, although I don't really listen to him I do know that he is a really good guitarist.

I wasn't really looking for suggestions on changing the song, actually. I enjoy the feel of it right now and adding a different mode would change the way it feels and flows, which is not really what I am looking for. I will definitely take into consideration your suggestions, as I have in the past. Thank all of you.

I DO, however, need to come up with a solid melody.

d7th
04-17-2003, 10:45 AM
I agree with michel, the solo is good :)
You don't fall into a technical solo and the melody are quit good.
Keep on going :)