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MondoMarcus
04-25-2006, 06:43 PM
I don't know where to put this thread, so I'm going to go ahead and put it here. This is very important to me.

I started an instrumental surf rock band over a year ago, and we are getting semi well known in the surf community. We're playing shows, getting fans, and things are looking up for us.

Here's the problem...
The last four months it seems the band has gone from my control. I'm paying eighty bucks a month to practice in a studio thirty miles from home (gas money anyone?) and I tell my brother, the bass player, I don't want to play there anymore because I can't afford it. He just laughs and says, find somewhere else to play and we'll do it.

The other thing is that he just got his girlfriend (who is a freaking b*tch, and I hate her) to go-go dance for us. She does these slutty moves and I hate it.

I started this band because I pictured us playing sunny surf rock in my backyard with some friends and maybe some beers. It's turned into another form of stress for me (and god knows I have more than enough of that in my life). Everybody wants to get signed, put together press packets, play huge shows, work on the website, make shirts, when all I ever wanted was to have fun with some buddies.

I started this band, and I write all the songs. I would feel bad if I quit because the whole band relies on me to write material, and if I leave they can't just replace me like the others can be.

If you want to hear the music it's right here on myspace. www.myspace.com/thepacificheadhuntersrock (http://www.myspace.com/thepacificheadhuntersrock)

I don't know what to do guys? I want to eliminate the stress, get this bitchy girlfriend out of the band, and start having fun again.

Padawan
04-25-2006, 08:01 PM
First of all, I love your music!
Have you already tried to REALLY talk with your band members? Are they such *******s that they wouldn't support you with your money problem although you are the heart of the band?
And that bitch...if she's a real bitch, she will soon make love with someone else and your bass player will kick her *** :)

EricV
04-25-2006, 08:11 PM
Have you said all that ( well, minus the b-word ) to them as well ? I mean, voiced your concern, mentioning what you had in mind and how it seems like getting out of control ? Mentioning how much the band means to you and that you donīt wanna lose the band ?

If you have tried to tell them all that in a quiet, but honest manner, and they donīt get your point, then maybe itīs time to reconsider, as much as I hate to say that. If some band members wanna try to go for the big break, invest a load of money ( as press kits, demo-tapes, promotion etc will require money ) etc., and others donīt want to, it might ( ! ) turn into a big painful experience... and eventually, the band wonīt be able to hang out and work together anymore at all. I have seen that happening rather often.
I mentioned in one article that there has to be a common goal, and if the goals arenīt shared by all, it will be a constant "forth and back", and a lot of stress.
So I think that, if you have not done so, you should sit down with the band and explain to them, in a honest and heartfelt way, what you told us, and see what happens.
Sorry if that is an obvious suggestion. However, if you have done that and still everything is in disarray, it might be less stress to look for other musicians to play with, as hard as that sounds
Eric

PS: And of course, I didnīt mean to discourage you at all. I wish you all the best, and hope youīll be able to work it out with them !

Spino
04-26-2006, 11:39 AM
It's time for you to assert yourself and start delegating ,rehersal place money/gas comes out of the gig money if there is any ,gettin signed is great ,as for the go-go bitch with the slutty moves, I'd hold on to her if I were you,she sounds like a real crowd pleaser :D

Lowthorpe
04-27-2006, 08:26 AM
This was similar to why I left my previous band. I joined the band with the intention of making music and playing a few local gigs, but as we started to get good feedback and response, things started to escalate. Recording demos, out of town gigs and such like really do eat into your pocket, and plus the fact, all of that extra stuff that costs all that money and requires tons of effort, I didn't really care about. Being in a band with four people who really want (and have the dedication) to make it when your goal is to just play music is really stressing, and it really got to me for a bit.

In the end, I just sat down and spoke to them. The other four wanted to take the band in a direction that was expensive to me, and more importantly, not enjoyable. Pretty much told them my leaving would be best for both parties, and politely took my leave.

I know exactly where you're coming from. If the majority of the band are sure they are truly serious about what they want to do, and you, like me, are interested in having some no-strings guitar-playing fun, well, you really should speak to them. Find out if they are sure on what they are want, and if they are, it might be worth considering leaving if it's not for you. I too, felt guilty about leaving the band; we had about 7-8 gigs booked starting from the weekend after I quit, but at the end of the day for something like this you need to adopt a 'look after #1' approach IMO - staying in an environment you feel uncomfortable in is going to get to you and stress you more (it did for me), and be detrimental to the band's progress too, having a player who's not 100% dedicated to the band's goals.

Just my thoughts on it anyway. Be sure to post back. ;)

Nick

eastwood
04-27-2006, 10:20 AM
It's time for you to assert yourself and start delegating ,rehersal place money/gas comes out of the gig money if there is any ,gettin signed is great ,as for the go-go bitch with the slutty moves, I'd hold on to her if I were you,she sounds like a real crowd pleaser :D

I second that !

We have even thought about 2 girls on stage like Motley Crue used to do

Daz

UKRuss
04-27-2006, 10:58 AM
Great stuff!

Where's your next gig?:D

tucker97325
05-02-2006, 05:39 AM
The other thing is that he just got his girlfriend (who is a freaking b*tch, and I hate her) to go-go dance for us. She does these slutty moves and I hate it.

I started this band because I pictured us playing sunny surf rock in my backyard with some friends and maybe some beers. It's turned into another form of stress for me (and god knows I have more than enough of that in my life). Everybody wants to get signed, put together press packets, play huge shows, work on the website, make shirts, when all I ever wanted was to have fun with some buddies.First of all, I say keep the slutty b*tch. If for no other reason than I like to watch slutty b*tches. Secondly, ANYBODY can be replaced, even you. If the band is truly going places, and you don't want to go, then let go. If all you want to do is play with your garage band in the back yard, I'm sure they'll come by now and then to drink some beers and play some music. But, if they have real potential (and maybe even if they don't) they will eventually resent the fact that you are holding them back from "Making the big time", and eliminate you anyway. (At least I would.)

Just my thoughts on the matter.

hairballxavier
05-02-2006, 10:34 AM
Sounds like a leadership problem to me. Since you put the band together and you write all the songs I would assume that you are the band leader. You need to assert yourself and tell them things ain't going the way you want them to.

If that don't work, start firing people.