View Full Version : A Lesson (for me) in patience

12-22-2005, 11:18 PM
As much as this site is great for theory, gear questions, etc. It's the 'band politics' threads that interest me the most. Here's my piece:
I'm a laid back kinda guy but am passionate when it comes to music.
When we 'hired' our singer he told us he would 'only' play guitar when appropriate.
He's a decent singer but when it comes to guitar - yeeesh.
If he spent more time practicing and less time talking about gear........
Anyway, inevitably he was picking up his guitar for almost every song, and the result was the muddiest mix you've ever heard.
Every time we'd write an original it ALWAYS ended up sounding like crap because there was just NO definition between instruments.
Every cover we'd do sounded completely different from what the rest of us were shooting for.
When I brought up my beef with the '2 guitar' thing I was perceived (by singer dude) as an egomaniac guitarist who did'nt want to share the spotlight with anyone, which is not the case. I just want things to sound good.
I was really close to moving on but decided to stick around for 2 more months, then make a decision.
Turns out i didn't need to say a word. My bandmates were hearing the same thing I was.
We started using POSITIVE comments like 'gee your voice sounded great', before making comments about his guitar playing.
The more positive we were, the more capable he became of taking some negative criticism. We all know how fragile voclalists can be.
Now we kick a**. We're at the point where the writing process is getting easier because the lines of communication are open and we don't worry about hurting the other's feelings by suggesting something doesnt work, or that 2 guitars are maybe not necessary.
That goes for myself as well. Now I have a nice little beer break in our 2nd set while we let singer-man play his thing.
My point in this thread is for all musicians out there to stick things out a little longer and try to resolve things before throwing in the towel.
Hope this advice comes in handy for someone............

Peace Brothers (& Sisters)

12-22-2005, 11:39 PM
glad to hear it. In my oppinion there are very few situations that call for more then one instrument doing the harmony, unless they are doing two very different things. But a lot of people see things differently and have no problem having two people playing the exact same chord in the exact same rhythm...or different rhythm which just tends to sound off.

It can be very frustrating trying to communicate a negative with someone and even more frustrating when it's in front of others and you have to quickly layer it in between two positives. I honestly appreciate it when people tell me "alright that's just not working" or "your gonna have to change something because that just sucks." Of course most people are nicer then that and I might feel like **** for a little while, but in the end the time saved alone is worth it, not to mention I'm just looking to improve and nothing helps more then an honest assesment.

12-23-2005, 04:02 PM
Let's face it. The vast majority of us are doing this for fun.
Good chemistry in a band is critical if it's going to remain that way.
I'm of the opinion that it's all in the delivery.
How you say things is as important as what you say.

Onward & Upward

12-26-2005, 10:20 PM
this a great book for anyone having problems with criticism (giving or taking) How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

a summary can be found here: http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/win-friends.html

i found this one invaluable not only with the band, but with my personal and professional lives as well.